25 Blatant Travel Site Lies And What They REALLY Mean

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mattstaff
Jun 8, 2018 4:30 PM EDT

These are painfully accurate. 

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  • 01
    Text - "All inclusive." Means: All inclusive is a loose term; there's tepid beer, iffy food selections and weak cocktails. Some don't include the "a la carte restaurants, spa treatments and excursions.
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  • 02
    Text - "A sand and shingle/rock beach. Means: There's rocks, and a small'strip of sand. But mostly rocks. Wear shoes at all times. Bring an inflatable mattress.
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  • 03
    Organism - Family friendly resort." II Means It's never quiet Parents abandon children for their peace of mind, beach balls are flying everywhere. the pools are always full the buffets empty. kids are crying and yelling, and youll trip over several toys and strollers.
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  • 04
    Text - "This hotel enjoys a peaceful location." Means: You're going to be bored in the middle of nowhere. Days will pass without seeing other people or cars, and it'll take two busses and a 25 min walk to get to anything exciting The same goes for "secluded,"tucked away" or nestled.
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  • 05
    Nature - "Enjoy sweeping sea views." Means: At an extra cost. If you don't pay extra, your view will be of the parking lot, the next hotel or no window at all. Beauty isn't free. and the brochure is lying to you. ALIB
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  • 06
    Text - "Local hot spot." Means: Sometimes it's the genuine local hangout of the people in the neighbourhood. More often than not, it's a marketing ploy between the travel agency and a struggling business to get people in the door through any means necessary.
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  • 07
    Property - A cozy room. Means: It's tiny. The bed takes up the entire room, you can touch all the walls with your arms outstretched and you have to keep your suitcase in the bathroom to save space. Watch out for "snug."compact," and "intimate" as well.
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  • 08
    Font - Budweise Oe T 7 "Low-key bar." Means: It's quiet No one goes there, the staff is bored and the food is bland. If it was a good place to drink, it wouldn't be low key.
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  • 09
    Text - "A sleepy town." Means: It's a crYptic way of saying there's nothing to toNothing is open early in the morning for a decent cup of coffee, and nothing stays open tate. Bring a book and all 5 seasons of Breaking Bad.
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  • 10
    Landmark - "Free Time. Means: It's a tour guide's duty to show you as much as they can and not lose anyone Any free time is usually 45 min, in a town square, where you begirudgingly rush around to buy an overpriced souvenir.
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  • 11
    Text - "Conveniently located by the [airport/train station/local attraction]. Means: You're in the middle of it all, probably in a noisy part of town where you hear trains, planes, cars and drunk tourists all night. Conveniently, you won't need to worry about sleeping-
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  • 12
    Text - "Scenic Drive." Means: Either it's traditionally gorgeous delighfully ironic and boring white-knuckle ride along a narrow mountain road.
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  • 13
    Text - An up-and-coming area." GANFE Means: It's an area miles away from the centre of town, where all the sights you want to see are Expect hipsters and shipping containers serving artisinal coffee, or itswhatever passes for gentrified cuisine in the country. Expect to take busses. Kslveo
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  • 14
    Text - CASPESIE Brfc "A stone's throw from finsert location here]. SEHK Means: Unless you've got the arm of Tom Brady you can't throw this far. It's a brisk and somewhat lengthy walk Check your map to make sure you find a place that's actually closeINTE-CATHERINE PRAGUE DE JANETRO Joises
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  • 15
    Transport - "Private Transfer. Means: It's acrowded, rickety old bus with o Xaiconditioning. Youll sit, elbow-to elbow with other people you just met that morning, making small talk for 2 hours.
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  • 16
    Umbrella - "Sun Kissed." Means: The sun sometimes makes an appearance. Do your research before you go to a destination to check the weather and climate. Not every sunny destination is that way 24/7. They all have rainy seasons. Boardgames and Netflix helps.
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  • 17
    Text - "Our reps are on hand 24/7." Means: You'll see a presence during the day, but when you need someone, there's a BRB sign on the consierge desk. E
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  • 18
    Text - "Tbe dow season." WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER OPENS. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS WALK IN Means: Can mean "no season." There's no staff, attractions are closed and the weather sucks. You can still find great deals, but don't be surprised if you feel hoodwinked.
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  • 19
    Tree - Off the beaten-track. Means: There's a beaten track for a reason, people want to see those things, If you don't do your research, you'll end up somewhere with little to no value to you. Don't waste your precious vacation that way
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  • 20
    Food - "Extensive Menu." Means: For purchase. Included is the usual bun with cheese, some tastless pasta and rubber chicken.
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  • 21
    Text - Jam-packed itinerary. Means: Your tour is overstuffed. You'll be shuttled from place to place, given a summary of each location/landmark, stuffed back on a bus and taken back to the hotel. There, you'll be exhausted and unsure of what you just saw.
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  • 22
    Airline - "Generous legroom. Means: Unless you pay and arm and a leg. you'll still find your knees up around your waist, rather than your ears.If you're lucky.
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  • 23
    Property - "The best part is the view" Means: The hotel is dated, there's no water pressure, the food is bland and the service non-existent. But hey, look out your window at the gorgeous sights.
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  • 24
    Building - Take a step back in time..." Means: It's the oldest hotel in the country, surrounded by the crumbling ruins of infrastructure.
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  • 25
    Text - "Free on-boa rd WiFi." Means: You're a sucker. It'll be painfully slow and free for 30 min, then you need to whip out the credit card.
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